Ocelot...14:27 Apr 28 2012
Times Read: 538
It has been a while. I do not know why, but it seems I had a dream last night, involving him. I do worry, but I am to not engage in any activity with him or he'd think me obsessed or crazy of some sort. Well.... when you've been engaged to someone and been together for two and a half years long distance, what would you expect? Everything to just drop off? Hell no. I broke it off, because he was insecure in not just our relationship, but he always wanted to paint me in a bad light, and accuse me of cheating. Even when his family already did not like me, he the one day broke down and told them I could have been cheating on him with Army! They didn't know I liked females. They always fueled the fire for him to break it off with me (because I was different than they, I wasn't a snobby prep-ish mainstream girl). He kept incriminating me so I wouldn't have much of a chance with them. I offered to even help them financially. I offered to help around the house. I offered myself as a submissive. Nothing worked. And then, he was the one who left nasty voicemails, that I would not be a good mother, that I would need to jump into traffic, ect. Well, I am sorry, but being constantly accused of things I wouldn't do.... for two and a half years.... it gets tiring. It turns out he found a girl ONLY two days after he and I broke up... suspicious... her name was Kuraihoshi... and apparently.... she cheated on him...karma kicks ass!
Anyway... I can't seem to forget though we broke up.... 3/4 through 2009. What am I to do? The kid was great, with this set aside. He was brilliant, and kind, and sweet, and would have been the perfect match for me if he wasn't so closed-minded and incriminating me. The insecurity I could have dealt with, but his incriminations were what got it. *sighs*
He's not a kid anymore. We haven't been for quite some time, and I worry about him often. I'm fairly sure he forgot all about me, but... I don't know. He wanted to be friends after we broke up in that day.... and I wished to be friends too, until he made those voicemails...
and then I got over myself and still decided I wished to be friends with him. By that point though.... he hated my guts, moved on and there was nothing else I could do. He and I talked until about december when he accused me of giving out his personal info to someone who emailed it to him...
No one found the email i supposedly gave, which.... i never did give it anyway.
*sighs* what to do....
There isn't much I could do. His family believes I am crazy now, and so does he. Either that or he just convinced them and.... meh.
I'll figure something out.
COMMENTS
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Kieataya
03:44 May 02 2012
Uh... Jess... Sissy... Love... Don't be retarded. Forget about him. You have a husband now. HE'S the one you should be focusing on.
Phedre
14:28 May 07 2012
Sissy, he suddenly disappeared. I suppose it's all well, and honestly I am focusing on my husband. Don't worry i wouldn't do anything stupid. Something tells me something is wrong though, that is all this is.